Friday, March 26, 2010

Building A Dream

This is the time of year when I'm prone to pondering if I should have raised Poodles instead of German Shepherds. Imagine having three 100-pound dogs shedding like crazy in a nice new house that has almost no carpeting.
Thank God for Dustbusters is all I can say on the shedding phase we're in right now. Dustbusting and dog brushing is my daily routine.
As for my nice new house, I finally got a slide show together of it being built. These photos are entitled, "Building A Dream," but the reality was more like, "Living A Nightmare." Even before my husband passed away, I swore I'd never go through the trauma of having a house built ever again.
I'm not sure if all contractors are idiots, or it's just the ones we had. I came to the conclusion the ideal contractor would be a gay man. He would, in a perfect world, immediately understand what I want and do it right the first time.
There is a certain plumber, whose name I won't mention, whom I believe is not only an total idiot, but a malicious one, too. I just can't believe he didn't do some of the ridiculously stupid things he did on this house out of sheer incompetence. It had to have been on purpose, because he and I didn't hit it off, to say the least. He's old, and definitely old school.
When I asked for things he didn't know how, or want to do, he'd just do it anyway, his way. He screwed up a lot around here. Plumbing that works correctly is right up there on my list of big deals when it comes to living in any house, let alone a brand-new one for which you're paying hundreds of thousands of hard-earned dollars.
To say I was, and remain, highly irritated with him is an understatement. I try to not hope I'll open the newspaper someday and read that he was hit by a bus. That's so negative!
At any rate, since nearly all of my followers are women, I figured you'd like to see some interior shots, too. All you fellow artsy-fartsy folks will see how fascinated I was by the arches.
I do love this house and plan to stay here indefinitely if I can afford it. It's a good thing so many people advised me to not make any big decisions for at least a year after my husband died. My immediate reaction was to sell this place, down market or not.
"Too many memories here," I can recall telling a friend. Since then, I've come to realize that after losing someone who was such a big part of me, the memories of him are all I've got now. They're essential to my wellness; he completed me. I need my memories of him to be the person I am.
There's a lot of both of us in this house. Everything I have of his will remain here as long as I do. I find those things comforting now. At first I couldn't stand to even look at them.
So enjoy the slideshow, ladies and gentleman. Putting it together knocked me down a few times, but here it is, and here I am, anyway.
I heard this somewhere and I think about it all the time: Living is My Legacy.


  1. I'm glad you're staying put and that it's been good for you. We had two 100+ pound yellow labs who shedded like crazy. I miss them terribly, but not the doggy hair!

  2. We had a totally incompetent plumber that we liked so much we had him back for the inevitable repairs. Nobody ever called me practical.

  3. Oh my what an astonishing place to live, those views are spetacular.
    Love your antiques, and as for the porch.
    I go to Philly a lot and sit on my friends porch for my entire holiday, but she doesn't have your views, wonderful spot.
    Don't talk about shedding I could knit another two dogs with the stuff at the moment!
    Have a good weekend.

    BTW tried to be a follower but my computer won't let me for some reason so your on my blog roll instead.

  4. Your house is exquisite, Donna, both the house itself and the view it affords.

    You are fortunate to be living in it despite your trials with tradesmen I've yet to hear anyone talk about a renovation or the construction of a house that goes without effort.

    The bitter-sweet memories following the death of your husband would have to be the hardest to deal with but it seems to me it's a good thing you've stayed in this house.

    The thing that gives you the most pain here could well be the thing that also gives you strength. Thank you.

  5. I've often heard it said that if a marriage can survive building a home, it can survive anything... lol. :c) Your home is beautiful Donna, and I'm sure those views are breathtaking.

  6. First let me say "thank you," for giving me the first laugh (and then some) of the day.

    Your entire post moved me. I'm glad that you have found your way into embracing the memories, even as they carry pinions of pain. The house is a wonder, nightmare or no. I love the pictures, and commiserate about dog hair. I tend to pluck the fur that emerges ready to take flight. There's something cathartic about it which the dog barely tolerates, and which makes my husband roll his eyes and side with the dog. What can I say, love me, love my dog habits.

    You'll hear from me soon.

  7. Your house is beautiful and what a fantastic view you have.

  8. What a fantastic house and view! I love that you followed your heart. Did you build this on your own?

  9. It's beautiful Donna. I can imagine the first glimpse of the night time event when the porch lights were switched on. It looks stunning in the slideshow.

  10. Donna, first time I am dropping by your blog. I love your resilience and authenticity in living through your grief and rebuilding. I love that you continue to dream and pursue those dreams. I just became a follower, and I will be back!


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